I'm not Defined by how many dishes I wash...

Sitting on the couch...practicing my talent for actually being a "Couch Potato"  I saw a commercial that caught me off-guard.   The pretty brunette woman on the screen announced, in a rather pleasant voice,

    "I am no longer defined by how many dishes I wash."

And then the screen flashed to some type of disposable plates that will entirely change my life and the lives of millions of women around the globe.   (oh, if only, right?!)

But, believe it or not, this silly commercial  sped through my mind like a downhill skier preparing for a long jump.   And I started to obsess about the sentence she had spoken.   Did she actually THINK that the number of dishes she washed, would in some way define her?   And what is it that I think defines me?

In the past weeks, I've been devouring an amazing Bible study by Beth Moore called, "Breaking Free".  I'll hastily tell you, I have loved every minute of it. Breaking free from all the stuff that bogs me down in this life, is all out refreshing! And somewhere last week, I read a particularly moving paragraph that went like this.

"You (insert your name here) are not defined by anything that happened to you or anything you have done.  You are defined by who you are in Christ.  You are God's beloved child."

And I balled like a little kid, for the longest time, after reading that oh-so-profoundly-simple truth.  Not to worry, these were not tears of pain.  I flooded my little hands with tears of pure relief and absolute gratitude!

You see, I have a past.  Perhaps like you.  Perhaps more or less unflattering than yours.  But frankly, there are moments in my life that I am positive would shame anyone if they had lived them.   I have done things...said things, yelled things, hit things, thrown things and accomplished acts of ick that I am too embarrassed to share here. 

Yet.  (Oh thank GOD for the good news)  I am NOT defined by ANY of these things.   Only God gets to say, who I am.

If you think that your past deeds or someone else's deeds against you are the only way we might try to define who you are...then think about this. 

You've perhaps noticed people, attempting to define themselves by the clothes worn, the houses lived in and the furniture stockpiled inside of it?   Cars become statements of a persons wealth and status.   Marriages and children become a part of the resumes to success.   Jobs become a part of a long ladder that someone will use to define you.    The people you hang with become tokens of style and culture.  Even the church you attend can be a defining point to some.   And the business of making a statement about who you are, goes on and on.

It's all bunk.  Rubbish. (to quote the english)

I am blemished.  I am tarnished.  I am a complete loser on my own.   I can spend hours in front of a mirror trying to look perfect (eh-hm, I admit it...I do attempt that quite often without success).  I can act the part of a good wife, an amazing mother, a solid friend that you can always count on to give, do and be the right things.  And I can fall into the categories above with house...cars and family with the hope that it will tell me or someone else who I am.   But it won't.

And as I sit here at my desk, I realize too, that there are many who would like to define me.  Some have tried to tell me who I am, who I need to be, what I should do and what I've done wrong.   I have labels that people have tried to apply to me.   And I have history that would like to attach itself to my back, bogging me down for the rest of my life.  But none of it is the definition of who I am.

I am not defined by what I have, where I live, who I am with, or anyone's ideas about who I am.   I am not even defined by who I think I am.   I am simply defined by one God, who loves me enough to say..."Jenn, you told me all that junk in your past.  I forgave you.  And honey, (he is affectionate), I can't even remember your past anymore."   Oh how I love God!  And I LOVE His memory loss grace and mercy, even more! 

Knowing God means that while He won't erase the consequences of my past...He will forgive it all.  And who I am in HIM today, is the only definition that matters.

In the end, perhaps the pretty brunette woman in the commercial was right. Clearly, she is NOT defined by how many dishes she washed.

(Grateful...oh so grateful)

P.S.  By the way, lest you think I am anti-pretty- things...Im not.  I don't think that there is anything wrong with having things or attempting to be beautiful...etc. (I like all that stuff too) It just doesn't define a person.

Comments

[Michelle Romo]

Oh my gosh...this is absolutly amazing. Everything you said was RIGHT ON! I have been sitting here shaking my head and saying..SO TRUE JEN, SO TRUE! It does not matter what anybody thinks,says,or feels about us..in the end only God has the right to judge us. I have been through some stuff too in my past and have had people put labels on me. Hurt me. Strip me of my Self Worth and drag me down. I know that I can't let others define who I am..because in God's eyes we are ALL perfect..No matter our size,shape,race,or sins. He still loves us through it all. I truly thank you for this AMAZING blog.

[Joelle]

Oh I loved this blog! I just started this Beth Moore study last night and I am so excited!! Acts of ick...ha ha! That is so funny!!

[Diana]

Awesome, just awesome what God is speaking to you through this study. I love it too! :)

[Joscelyne (Joscie) Cutchens]

Amen Sister! I always say I am soo thankful for grace and mercy, because no one can earn their way. we are allowed only through His love, Grace and MErcy! :)

[rachel]

Wonderful! Amen girl!!
I will have to look into this bible study! I love her.

[Tina]

Okay, I need to breathe deeply. I am working on this and WOW, can God just keep peeling me or WHAT?! What a gift you have in writing and really bringing to light the things we ALL work at and need to work on. I am so glad God takes us and loves us EXACTLY how we are. He is so amazing and what a wonderful gift-mercy and grace and enduring love. We are so blessed. Thank you for writing this and really digging deep. I love it!!! You too btw!