Living a Dream

Up, up and Away...

Autumn in New York is brilliant.  Each tree seems to boasts its own rich color combination in every shade of the best of sunsets glorious color palette.  To know that we have lived this particular adventure means much more than just a brisk ride among the clouds...it whispers in my heart every time I see the photos, "...we have lived deeply...profoundly...exuberantly."   That means more to a dreaming girl than much of anything else.    For when I am very old...and feeble, I will look back and say just that once more.  "We did indeed live...deeply, profoundly and exuberantly."  And that will make me smile.

Welcome to a little bit of our wedding anniversary adventure!

Somehow, as I watched the balloon fill with the hot air, I felt like I may just run to the car and lock myself inside.  The fear of letting a simple balloon and basket carry me into the sky, took my courage and tested it to the core.   Can you see how very small the basket really is?

Mr. G...my tough warrior of a man didn't flinch.   And I like to think that it was his confident grin that gave me just the right amount of courage to step inside of the brown wicker basket and take a giant leap of faith in God and all of His plans for my evening.  It was really...God.

 

(Where we took off from)
This precious little place is called, "Sprout Creek Farm".  It is filled with every imaginable farming tool, animal and garden pleasure known to me thus far in my life.  Run by a group of sweet, talented and very hard working Catholic Nuns, it has a very special way of making each visitor feel as if they perhaps own a bit of the land.  The cheeses that come from their store alone, will bring us running back again and again.

After floating very aimlessly, for no less than an hour...our Captain found a perfect farm to cushion our landing.   It really was just this beautiful...in every way.

When the winds pick up the balloon, it can be a bit of a monster to contain.  Mr. G helped the men bring it under control again.

And there we are...the Dreaming Diva is, "Safely on the Ground" but with a completely changed heart.   You see, now I'd go up in a itty-bitty basket under a balloon covering again, any day, any time, any place...with one condition...Mr. G would still have to be my traveling companion.

(Still feeling so grateful for the romantic adventure of a lifetime!)

There is someone that I'd like you to meet!

I've talked about him perhaps a trillion times on this blog.  And for a while now, I've been hoping beyond hope, that he'll do what he has said he'd like to do.  That being, "Starting his own blog".

Two days ago, Mr. G did it!  He opened up this blog and posted his first article. 

 Babycakes, I will tell you...I love his blog name, as it perfectly suits him.   He called it, "In my humble but accurate opinion".   If you know this quirky, very opinionated man, you'll agree, he couldn't have said it better.  If you don't know him, you'll soon discover why the title should be his...and it's not because he is humble in spirit.  No, not quite.  {grinning}

If you're thinking that perhaps he will write like me...you'd be mistaken.  He doesn't like sugar-coating things much.  He'd rather just tell you like it is...with his own distinctive New Yorker voice.   More than likely, you won't agree with him at all times.  But he has entered this blog world anyway!

So, come on blogger friends...go over there and give him the warmest welcome!  Give him something to look for in his comment box.  Welcome my guy to the internet!

 (feeling so happy to introduce Mr. G to my dear Juicy friends)

P.S.  That photo was taken only days before his spinal fusion surgery.  I never wrote about it but Mr. G aka my Mr. Big, surprised me with a magnificant first time Hot-Air Balloon ride over the autumn foliage of our fair valley.   He did it to celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary and to make sure that ...should anything have happened to him in surgery...there would be a "Big" memory to last me a lifetime.   As usual with him, I was blown away by his creative...elaborate, adventurous gift and will always remember how amazing it was to feel the air...and silently glide through the air toward an unknown destination, with Mr. G's hand around my waist.   It truly is remarkable, how much that actually resembles my relationship with him.    

Thank you my dearhearted man for continuous adventures...I love them so much!

And thank you Father God for allowing my husband to come through the surgery with great success...forever I am grateful!

Best words ever..."You can take me home!"

Gratefully, those are the words I heard yesterday morning over the phone.  And so I scrambled, grabbed the baby and scurried to the hospital to bring the King back to his castle.   We are so over the moon that he's back.   Every single one of us.   Even Pete the pup was overly wiggly at the sight of Mr. G slowly scooching up the walk-way to the front door.   

We still have a long recovery ahead....but God is amazing, we're going to do great over here.   

Thank you...thank you for your prayers and outpouring of love.   I really have appreciated your emails and notes left on the blog.   So thank you.

With love,
J.J.

Meds, hubby and life in our fast lane

Ok so he's not home yet.   No..not quite.   But he's been out of bed, scooting around a bit with a walker...slow as an 80 year old ...or a tired snail...down the hallway and back again.   I keep walkin' behind him trying to catch a quick glimpse of his cute little tush when the wind catches his fashionably smart gown with the gappin' backside,  just right.    And I swear, when he finally picks up speed...I am gonna get best view of the bright side of the moon somethin' good!   But for now, the boy is a bit slow and there simply isn't any wind blowing down the corridors of the hospital at the moment.   (hint to hospital staff, please put fans in the hall - thank you, signed, hoping for a peek.. wife!)   

I am terribly proud of him.   I mean that.  He's such a trooper.   And he is still in such a great amount of pain.  But doing so well through it.

He's also be greeted by some of the sweetest friends, who've taken time to drive down and visit with him.   They've truly honored us by being there to cheer him on and love-on him.    Thank you dear friends and family!  Thank you for being sooooo kind and taking the time away from life to do that.   You really are true friends.   

The boys have been taken care of by my sassy sister and some of our dear friends...who've come in to care for them every day so far.   My word, what a blessing.  I have been able to care for my Mr. G without worry about the boys.  And that is such a relief to this girl.   I dont' know what I would have done without the help.   Thank you so much!

I am hoping soon to write that he is home...but for now, there's no date for returning the king to his castle.    Tomorrow I go again to the hospital...trying to catch that glimpse.  Man I love him.  But there is Nothing like a man on a serious amount of pain medication, talking in his sleep...falling asleep while eating lunch...and snoring only moments into a conversation.   In our house, we call that kind of medicine, "martini in a syringe!"   

Now if only the wife could get a sip of the good stuff!  :)

Thank you so much for the continued prayers.   My love to all,
J.J.

He made it through!

I am actually still at the hospital.   I've been here for over 24 hours now.  Whew.   And I am so glad to say that my Mr. G has made it through this surgery very well.   He's in a lot of pain but we're both so grateful to be on the other side of the fusion surgery and into recovery.   Praise God for such a gifted surgeon.  Honestly.

For the dear friends and family praying, thank you.   He still needs those prayers!  It's hard to watch this man that I love so much in so much pain.   I'll probably head home tonight to give my sister some relief with the boys.   But we'll see what the day puts before me. 

That's my quick update before I go get him, "real" coffee.   :)

Love to all - J.J.

Him...Mr. Big...My Knight...Him

His eyes seemed to reflect nearly everything he saw in my face much like a mirrored image.  As the tears slid there way down my cheeks, I stammered through a host of words that I hoped would aid in helping him understand the heart of his wife. 

I am not sure if we understood the magnitude of that moment.  But my  head spun with questions.  How on earth could he conceive of the internal mental acrobats a woman goes through in a span of mere minutes?  Is that really possible?   But I tried.  I told him about my fears, anxieties and worries.    I confessed my uncertainty in the future and the sense of security that I hold so dear to my heart every day and what those thoughts lead me toward.  And oddly enough, he listened, held me...and with words of a true man, told me, "It will be alright."  In the moment, that comforted me completely.

He, my knight, the strong pillar God has given to me to lean on, is going in for surgery to receive a double spinal fusion, next week.   You can interpret that to mean, there will be alot of very real pain and difficult recovery road ahead for him.  How I wish I could take that away from his future.  And how I hope I will know exactly what to do for him...to be the partner that he will surely need.   Honestly, I don't know how I will respond yet to those needs and the strangeness of him being unable to be the physical strength of our home for a while.   

You have to understand that Mr. G is very much a man of great men!   He believes in opening my doors, pulling out my chairs, bringing home flowers for no reason other than love, carrying everything that is heavy, and caring for all things that will ensure that his family is safe, secure and healthy.   

Sometimes I feel as if he is a dream to me, like maybe he isn't real.  But he is very real.  He defends me and my honor.   He loves me with deep passion.   He is without a doubt the MOST romantic man I've ever known.   And when I speak about him, he is Mr. Big.   Because the truth is, Mr. G is Big in everything he does.  I am spoiled in this!  So beautifully, spoiled. 

I can not help myself...I adore him.   Somehow with five years of history together, you might think that the feelings that we have for each other, would have changed by now.   And you'd be so right.   They have.  Every ounce of love and adoration that I had to begin our relationship with, has managed to change and grow itself into a deeper satisfaction that comes from two people holding very tightly to each other and even tighter to God, through the thick and thin.   And boy has there been much thick and thin!

As we face the truth of what next week will hold for him with the surgery, my pulse races a little faster.   I love this man.  With all my heart I love him.  My prayers have already begun to ascend toward my father in heaven for guiding our physicians hands.  I have asked the Lord for blessings beyond what I can even conceive.   But more than anything, I have asked God to keep my husband safe. 

I know that my blog has been strangely quiet for much of the last several months.  And the truth is, when a Juicy Dreaming Diva, loses so much of her juice...its hard to dream...sometimes she's afraid to admit it.   

But stick with me darling divas.   I need your Juicy Lives to keep me dreamin of more to come.  One day, I will give you back more juicy living...for now, I just ask for your thoughtful prayers for my knight, my sweet hero...my hunky Mr. Big. 

(feeling so grateful for the love of my life)

Too Many Fish in the Bowl

Mid-summer and like many of you...I am lost in piles of extra laundry...kids scurring beneath my feet.   Longer days...shorter nights and the constant noise level on high.    What I crave now is the sound of pure silence.   I want to hear my own heartbeat and my own breathing.   

I am a stay at home mother.   And I love my job.   Not always but usually.   Does this make sense?   I know that I could be a working mother.   I could leave for a job in the morning and return home in the evenings to my family.  And there is a huge part of myself that believes I would love that.   But then I picture my little ones.   And the idea of leaving them to another person to raise...tosses me rapidly back into reality.  I will stay home and be a mother to my babies.  For my family, that is the best choice.

I can not be alone in this idea.   There must be other mother's at home right now, feeling much the same.   

I am fairly certain that summers with the children are supposed to be intense and somehow confined.   Much like cramming 20 goldfish into a rather small glass bowl and saying to them..."Swim, just as you normally do!"   With that said,  I am not shocked that I am craving the silence.   But you see, Mr. G has also been home due to being injured on duty...for nearly 2 months now.   (I hear the collective sighs of deeper understanding ...you get it...thank you sistas.).

I truly wish I could understand why it is that with Mr. G home, I can not seem to accomplish as much.   You would think that it wouldn't change my life all that drastically.    But it does.   It has.   And the laundry piles are bigger.   The grocery shopping is needed faster.   The every day duties are never ending.   And the feeling of accomplishment seems strangely just out of my grasp.   Every day.

So I here I am Juicy friends.   Wishing for the silence.   Hoping for relief from the summer heatwave.   And wondering out loud....if there is any sense to be made of this summer life of mine.  Would you...could you...enlighten me?

You still Melt Me Mr. G!

I stare at you in this photograph and I see my zany, wild-man!  I still remember that you did the Mexican dance with the Mariachi band - for me.   You had them come to our table in the middle of a crowded restaurant and sing as loud as possible...to make me blush.  All because you knew I wanted them near our table.  (Thank you!)  It was so incredibly full of life!   Just like you. I belly laughed the entire time.  My heart beats faster just remember this moment. 

I wanted to stay, right there, in the moment...

Mr. G and I spent last night at a luscious Sweet 16 party for a darling friend of ours.   Somewhere between my pink martini and the amazing array of Italian food, the D.J.  put on a song that slid my hips into a motion that resembled rhythm...and inevitably that tends to lead me to the dance floor.   You'd think that I swung onto the floor with my hunky hubby in hand, but at the time, he was clear across the room.  So I grabbed the arm of a few girlfriends and we drifted onto the dance floor together.   

As I moved to the thumping beat of the music...I looked around me.  Within a few feet of me was at least 5 delicious girlfriends.  They were grinning, laughing and all were dancing.   It was juicy and so completely full of life and threads that make up the fabric of girlfriend relationships.   I could have stayed, right there ~ in that moment ~ for a long time.   

But then Mr. G, showed up on the floor.   And I tell you, he was there in his dark suit with this fantastic lavender shirt and complementary tie...smelling utterly amazing and looking so tall, Italian and handsome with those hazel eyes of his.   Darlings, I nearly melted into the floor boards.   He whisked me into his grasp and suddenly I was dancing with my adorable husband and feeling the full force of romance in all of its potency.  I could have stayed, right there, in that moment ~ for a long time.


 

He's still your Knight in Shining Armor

You've seen them.   They barely look at each other.  There is a rare cause for touching each other.  And most of the time, they look lonely even when together.   Sometimes they look lonely, because they are together.    They are broken, exhausted and complacent about  the life they have built.   Often times they sit together over dinner and look away from each other...no laughter, no conversation...nothing but silence.   

They are the couple, who's fire just  - died.   

This same couple was once a perfectly scrumptious duo.   Remember?  They embarked on a lifetime together because they LOVED the way it felt to be in each others company.   Every single look made a heart beat wildly.   And there were never enough moments in the day for kissing and touching.  If given a corner table in the local restaurant, they barely notice the waiter upon his arrival, because they were simply smitten with one another. 

And then they married.   And for maybe a blissful year...they are the very epitome of joy-full closeness! 

So what happened??!

Mr. G (hunky hubby) and I have been together for nearly 5 years now.   In that time, our talks about relationship have always centered on what it takes to make it.   We are statistically challenged like many of you...as this is a second marriage for both of us and by all counts we have a mere 40% chance of making it stay together for the long haul.  Doesn't that shock you?  It sure surprised me.   40%?