Its a cloudy, overcast day outside. The kind of day that causes you to reflect on things...lots of things...like:
...where you've come from
...where you're going
...how the heck are you doing on the inside
...etc
Today I spent time with my hubby. We drank tea in our room...lit candles and talked for hours. Its called "quality time" and its something that sometimes slips through our fingers in a way that is just not comprehensible.
So often, Stephen and I will sit near each other after a week of hard work, long hours, children rushing to and fro...and we stare at each other. I think we are trying to remember the things we think we've memorized in our minds...the soft creases on his face, the way his hands rest on the table in front of me, his big brown eyes that turn hazel-green in the right light...its all somehow fresh in that moment but then I tend to capture it all over again to add to my stored memory banks.
So there we sat today, catching up. Starving for together time. Soaking up the blessing we feel in sharing our lives together.
Its been hard lately. You'd think with every blessing that we do have...it would be all cake and icing. No, no, not quite. We battle every human emotion, just like everyone else. Moving isn't easy. Losing a baby isn't easy. Raising a family isn't easy. But listing it all out seems overwhelming, so I won't list it entirely.
My tendancy, is to minimalize the pains of daily living...to graze silently through life, only allowing those closest to me to know the pain, anger, frustration, sadness, hurt and fears. But who am I kidding anyway? I am a part of this planet...one of God's many human creatures, full of misconceptions, struggles and learning curves.
Ahh the beauty of a day with clouds. I turned inward, I found my husband again and realized that I can get back in touch with my heart. That's all this blog is really about. Finding me once more...
Are you with me on this?
