Living a Dream

Why we learn the Good Stuff from Kids

Every night we have the same bedtime ritual.   He crawls under his covers and we talk for a bit and then I ask, "Ok, let's talk to Jesus.   What do you want to Thank Him for tonight?"  or "What would you like to tell Him?"  And Matt the Great, my middle boy, always says something like...

"Dear Jesus, I hope I have a good night's sleep....." followed by other requests or concerns of his fully 7 (and three-quarters as he would tell you) year old heart.

Last night I asked him the same question and this is what he said.

"Dear Jesus, thank you for the fireworks that we could see tonight from our front porch.  They were really nice! Thank you for letting us watch them...."

And I suddenly remembered the distance fireworks that we indeed could see from more than 5 miles distance.  Yes they were beautiful.  Yes... they were special, because after all, they were fireworks.  But did "I," mommy to Matt the Great, even consider THANKING God for letting us see them?  No.  Sadly...no. 

As I left the room, I did some thinking.   I started to consider all of the special every day things that I see and smile about but rarely think to thank my Father in Heaven for sending my way.   Like the gorgeous red cardinal that landed just outside my bedroom window for more than a moment and stared in our direction.   It was stunning.  And I loved it.  But I didn't thank God.   

And what about the soft Caribbean guitar music I found and totally enjoyed throughout my outdoor lunch with my family in the afternoon.  LOVED it.  But didn't thank Him for it.   Or the green grass playtime that I shared with baby Jack in the late afternoon sunshine.   Didn't thank Him for it one bit.

I realize that even in this moment, I am forgetting the smallest of things in my day already.  Things that have been sent my way by the goodness of a big Dad in Heaven who sent them to me because He fully loves me!  And yet, while I loved them...I didn't quite get around to saying thank you.  In some cases, I didn't even notice.

I have much to be grateful for and much I should say.   So, let me begin by saying this:

"Father, thank you so much for Matt, who once again has taught me much...in this case, that I lack gratitude for loads of little things you've done for me.  Thank you for caring enough to point that out to me through a little child...my child."

(learning....truly learning, but so not there yet)

Model, not so glamorous

We were standing a few feet from the front door, my husband and I, when Jack toddled past us with a set of keys in hand.   His pudgy little fingers grasped onto one in particular and as he arrived at the door, he reached with all of his might upward with the key.    As if it was old hat, he pushed the key right into the doorknob in the exact spot where a key would go.   He's only 13 months. 

Stunned, we stood there and laughed.  But in a rather uncomfortable way.  Questions began to tumble out, like, "Did you show him that?" and "Where exactly did he learn this?"  And there were no answers for either of us.  We simply have NO IDEA how he learned that keys go into doors.   We rarely even use the front door to enter the house.   So where did he learn this technique?

At my women's Bible Study later that evening, we talked about legacies that we are a part of...lives, behaviors and things of that nature that have been passed down from generations behind us.   And that led to the things we are handing down to our children.    Suddenly I wanted to burst on the inside! 

My Jack, a baby of only 13 months, has picked up on how to put a key into a doorknob...without the official training of my husband or myself.   He must have learned this simply by watching us.   If he already knows the details of such a small and insignificant task and understands it fully...then what else have I already given to him simply through example?    Will he snap at others the way I do, because he is modeling mommy?   Will he be a control freak, because I am?   Will he talk under his breath as I do when I am angry about something?   Will he be late to EVERYTHING, the way mommy is? 

I am aware that there are both good and bad that he will watch from me.   But my concerns rest soley on the legacy I am leaving my children.   And my overwhelming thought is, how do I model the things he truly needs to learn, instead of the things I hope he never learns.

(feeling thoughtful and humbled)

Simple - Gratitude

Gratitude.

Simple.  Yet odd, how I forget to be grateful sometimes.

This morning I watched as my 7 year old prepared to meet the bus for school.   He pulled on his navy blue sock and got it half way over his foot before he said, "Mom, can you help me?"  I leaned down and tugged the sock upward.   As I moved toward the second sock, I happened to look up and saw to my amazement that he was staring at me.  When his gaze met my eyes, his face lit up...and he simply said, "Thanks mom.  I love you."

Through breakfast, he chatted rapidly about school, friends and his latest game for the Gameboy DS.  He told me about his buddy on the bus and their fierce, but fun, DS game competition.   And when I brought him something to drink, he squeezed his arms around my waistline, buried his head into my tummy and then grinned up at me in such a way as to say, "You're the best mom." 

As he walked down the steps toward our driveway, I stood in my usual spot at the doorway...watching him.   He was half-way across the lawn when he spun around and yelled out, "I'll miss you mom!  See you soon and we will play the Wii!"

I have so much in this boy of mine.  I could hug him all day.  How could I not feel pure gratitude?

(feeling, happy that I get to be his mom)

Happy Beautiful Birthday My Little Man!

HAPPY Birthday to my One Year Old baby Jack!  It's here!  He's now officially one.  I can't believe it.  And I am on pins and needles to give him his little personal cake!   Happy Birthday my little man.   You are truly a gift to us from God.  And what a gift!

And while I am in a joy-full spirit, I thought I would share this.   Worth the read and deliciously done!  If it doesn't make you smile...then perhaps you're made of stone.

Good Sunday Morning babycakes!

(Feeling truly chipper!  Jack is one!)

Time...time...time

Time...luscious time...its slipping away.   Today...one year ago, I was very much a pregnant girl with a mere days until  I would deliver my baby Jack.   My precious little boy is now nearly a one year old.  Where did that go?   

He's babbling like a chatter box these days.   He says "Yeah!"  "Momma"  "Dad-da" "Matt" and simply shakes his head back and forth for NO.   His grin is contagious and flirtatious all at once and I am about as proud of his precious Gerber Baby appeal as can be.   

I feel blessed.   I am honored.   I am unbelievably relieved to have reached this mark in his life.   And I can not wait to share the photos....very soon!

Stay tuned my Juicy Friends! 

What's in a lifetime?

This is my baby, Jack.   He is almost 11 months old.  His skin is the softest, smoothest and sweetest smelling that it will ever be.  His silky curls have not yet been touched by a scissor because I can't bring myself to yield to the idea of a haircut...so I let the curls bounce and fly at will for now.   

Jack's precious little voice can already say words that literally shock me into fits of belly laughter.  This past week,  he began to rushed past me in his speedy baby walker, saying loudly..."Maaaaaaatt"  - which is exactly what his daddy and I do when we are looking for his older brother Matthew.  When I think about it, I smile at just beautifully innocent it all is.

When I cuddle him, it is with a deep understanding that even while I hold him in my arms, he will be bigger tomorrow...and the next day and the next until one day, he will outgrow the need of my arms.   It is part of life. 

Last week, I took him on a field trip with my seven year old Matthew, to a nursing home for the elderly.   Matthew's first grade class brought along a host of songs to sing, silly jokes to make the patients laugh and an armload of beautifully constructed snowflakes made especially for these precious people.   

Because I grew up in a family that often made visits to nursing homes, this visit was something I looked forward to doing with my boys.   And sadly when I returned on this day, a few things came rushing back that should never have left me in the first place.   

I can not say that the home itself was a sad place...clearly it wasn't.  It was bustling with activity and people.  But as I entered the activity room, I stood there for a moment, Jack in my arms, Matt at my side... and I remembered the overwhelming feeling of loneliness that creeps into a home for the elderly.   It is a place where people can be forgotten.   The harsh reality being, that nursing homes are filled with elderly people, who's lives were quite possibly rich with activity and careers...families and friends that is now replaced by wheelchairs, frailty, illness and forgotten memories.

We quickly moved toward the first row of waiting ladies.  I brought Jack up close to each one which made their eyes light up and their fingertips reach out to touch the soft baby skin.   So beautifully, they started the nurturing cooing sounds that come from every woman who adored  a small fresh-faced baby in her lifetime.   And I found that it was much easier than I'd remembered, to talk with the patients.   But one woman stood out beyond the others.  Her name was Mary.  She is a sweet faced woman, well into her 80's and she took to Jack as if it were her grandson.  She waved heartily at him every chance she could, from any distance in the room.   She had a contagious spirit, so I moved toward her and shared conversation.   

For a time, the conversation was very normal.  I asked her about her children, her grandchildren...her life.  And she asked about my children, little Jack and my life.   And then she asked one question, "The baby is a boy, yes?"   "Yes."  I said smiling.  "I get that question alot...people sometimes think he's a girl with all that curly baby hair and that sweet face of his."   She laughed with me.   And then looked up and said, "He is a boy, yes?"  I nodded again and asked her more questions about her life and she answered.   But then again - as if she had never asked it before, asked enthusiastically, "Oh so sweet...the baby.  He's a boy right?"   And this continued like a tape recording that was turned off and then on, until the visit was done.

As I left with our group, I couldn't shake the thought of Mary.   Sweet faced Mary.   On the onset of conversation, there wasn't a thing wrong with her memory.   But clearly, Mary has suffered some kind of  memory loss.  And that thought, brought me to my own fragile humanity.   

Right now, I live a life that I love.   It includes, family, friends and activities on many levels.  And as far as I know I have all my memories intact.   But one day I will be 80-something.  My days will not be so crowded with activity or people.   My life will slow considerably. And I will be old. Very old.
I will no longer have the bright eyes that are mine right now.  This skin will be filled with wrinkles despite the creams or potions I use.    And one day I will have friends who will have no choice but to live in a nursing home.    It may even be me.

Let that sink in for a moment for yourself.

Really let it settle in.   

Do you feel it?   Its age, creeping in on you and me.   You can't stop it.   Oh you can stay in shape, eat right,  drink right, you can have plastic surgery and botox treatments....but age is still coming my friend.  Use that thought.  Be inspired by it.   

Life is here for you NOW. 

Are you living your life the way you want it?   Are you one of those who looks in the mirror and lives in the past, wishing again today that you could be 21 all over again?   News flash: you'll never be 21 again.  It's gone.   But you have now...its not too late.  You have NOW!

Don't waste time.   Don't waste a minute.   Invest in your kids, your family, your friends, your husband...your wife.  Live now.   Live fully.  LIVE!

Make your life mean something.

P.S.  If by chance, you're given the opportunity to visit a home where people might be forgotten, then go.  Share your time...share your babies smiles, share everything you can.   It might be the highlight of their week, month or year.    And you never know when that one act of kindness, will come back around to you one day when you need it.

To be Thank-full

This is my husband...  in the past couple of weeks, he's been a strength for me in so many ways!   He's cooked, cleaned, diapered, chauffeured our family...and worked like mad to be my knight.  I am soooo grate-full!

He took these photos the other day.   And through his eyes I saw new life in a different way.   I am utterly appreciative for this perspective....it is remarkable.

 

These are my older two boys...such truly great helpers...to each other and to me...I value this so much...

This is my sweet baby... his smell, his skin...his sweet hair...his perfect little nose...those hands...and feet...how can I even compare anything to his newness.  Its astounding.

Now I ask you...could I dare to question God's blessings?  Have I not been handed all that really matters in this life?   

Its not every day that I am full of thanks...how unfortunate...how regrettable. 

But today, I noticed.   Today mattered.   Today I found what I should always see...

...that to live, means that I should always be...truly Thank-full.

(humbled by God's graciousness to me)

Baby Jack Braden!

He is here!   

We are overjoyed to announce that he arrived in the midst of a snowstorm...on March 16th!   I'm happy to say that the big boy weighed in at a healthy 9lbs. 4oz. and was a lengthy 23 inches long!  Whoa mama!

My recovery is going very well and I am such a happy mommy!  Honestly, I can't stop staring at him.  He's beautiful.  And I am so in love with my little boy...its amazing.   

Our two older boys are also completely enraptured with their little brother.  Protectively shielding his eyes from the sunlight as we drive in the car...holding his little hands in theirs...kissing his cheeks before bedtime or as they leave the house for school.   Its a wonderfully precious sight to watch!   

However, I am fairly sure that its most obvious that little Jack's father...is about as proud a dad as they get!  He leaps at the opportunity to change diapers, snuggle, nuzzle and coo at this new life.  And given the chance to show him off...Stephen stands tall and proudly introduces Jack to anyone willing to listen!   He's simply enjoyable to sit back and watch.

So this is my new little man.   He's sleeping well.  Eating well.  And is simply a really good baby!   And well...with all this joy...I just had to share! 

(feeling so happy with this new life that God has brought into our lives!)

Oooooh Baby!

Yes, this is me!  I am 39 weeks and a few days along on this baby journey...and SOOO done with being pregnant!  Really.   Just thinking about getting back into shape actually thrills me!  I imagine myself running freely again and I nearly jump out of my skin with glee!   

Those of you who have been through this know...oh my, that 38 to 40 week mark is just about enough to make a sane girl go perminantly bonkers!   

Today I went to the doctors office, full of anticipation!  I was so sure that she would say to me, "Oh my!  You're dialated to at least a 3 and we should expect this baby any second!"  But alas, no.  The response was instead, "Well, no dialating yet."

At that moment, I truly wished I could cry.   Not just for myself but for my poor husband.  Darlings when I tell you the man has endured, I mean it!  Bless his heart.  He's been a near peach of a man, while I whine, pout and feel sorry for myself in this big tummy.  (In the photos he's working on a fabulous cartoon mural for our "city baby" themed nursery...he's such a goof and such a creative person!)   Bless him!  Bless him!   I don't even know what I would do without this sheer love of my life.   He's strong and in charge.  I love it.  Yes indeed I all out love it!  I all out adore and love HIM!

So, today, having had a c-section in the past, I looked at the doctor and with a resounding voice, simply said,  "OK, let's schedule a c-section for Friday!"  And honey, with that, we just scheduled my baby's birthday!  Woohooo!!!

Im going to be a new mommy again on Friday!   So send up the prayers...pop the champagne and give me a high five, sing a jingle...cause I will be holding little baby Jack Braden on Friday.  And finally my rib cage and bladder will be FREE I TELL YA, FREE!

(full of anticipation and hope)

What's in a name?

"Matthew, do you know what's growing in Aunt DoDo's belly?"

"Yep!"

"What?" I push further.

"A baby." He says matter-of-factly.

"That's right!" I respond happily, "And do you know if the baby is a boy or a girl?"

"A boy." (Im amazed but I think he's starting to sound slightly irritated at the conversation mom is holding with him...isn't he too young for this?)

"And what are they going to name the little baby boy?" I say with amusement.

"I dunno."

"Well, Matt, what would YOU name him?"

There is a long pause....he stares straight ahead and then, he snaps his head toward me and exclaims,

"I'd name the baby GEORGE!!"

Slightly baffled by his choice but giggling inside and out, I say..."Why would you name him George?"

Matthew's face scrunches up and he turns his head cockeyed just a little.  "Because," he replies confidently, "Then I could sing, "George, George, George of the Jungle..."

Where exactly do they come up with this stuff?